5 Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself Before Shelter-In-Place Ends
As I write this, we are in the heart of a global pandemic.
While some municipalities are still fully locked down, and others never took shelter-in-place orders very seriously, other places are thoughtfully relaxing restrictions, and we can begin to sense the quickening pace of life on the other side.
What a journey this has been for each of us. It’s definitely been challenging, but also full of opportunities for learning and growth.
As a professional coach, my job is to ask powerful questions – questions that help my clients deepen their self-awareness, develop their worldviews, and think clearly about their strategies and next actions.
Most of my clients are successful millennial professionals who are committed to self-growth and discovery, and they relish a juicy question to chew on in conversation, in their journals, or in their meditation practices.
Here are my top 5 questions to ask yourself at this moment in time. I hope some of them will surprise you and open up interesting avenues for inquiry –
1. What are you grateful to COVID-19 for?
It's easy to think about what we're NOT grateful to a deadly and infectious virus for – a virus that has claimed many lives, negatively impacted all of us in many ways, and led to a global economic recession. All of this is true, and deserving of honoring and respect.
But this time of shutdown has also brought many gifts to our lives.
For me, I have this virus to thank for a new living situation in a cabin in the woods which suits me much better than my old life in the city. I also have it to thank for time to reflect, meditate, be in nature, start a garden, and build the foundations of my next-level coaching practice.
What gifts has it brought to you?
2. What have you discovered about your shadow?
When we're faced with immense challenge and uncertainty, it reveals our shadows – the parts of our personality and psyche that we normally keep buried. We may not like these parts, but they're here to stay, so we might as well be curious about them and invite them into the light. As we do this, we may develop an enthusiasm for discovering and integrating our shadows.
During this pandemic, what parts of your shadow have come to light? The anxious and worried part? The reactionary? The inner warrior?
(These parts don't necessarily need to be negative – just that they're normally hidden from view.)
Name and describe each part and its characteristics and patterns. Explore the origins of this part, how it operates, what it's afraid of, how it may cause difficulties for you, and what its gifts are when you fully own and integrate it.
For example, I've discovered my inner "obsessive perfectionist" during this pandemic. He needed to get all the details right so I could feel safe and secure. I see how I picked up and amplified these patterns from my family of origin. He can pull my attention away from the big picture. But when I reassure him that "all is well" he can relax and be a brilliant inner ally for staying organized and on track.
When we acknowledge our shadows, we become more whole and effective in the pursuit of our dreams and goals. So own your shadow today.
3. What have you discovered about what you value?
Crises are opportunities to clarify what matters and what doesn't, reorganizing our lives to prioritize what is most essential and meaningful to us.
Have you taken this precious opportunity to orient your life to your deepest values?
What have you had to let go of that you realize really never mattered in the first place? (i.e. consumerism, social obligations)
What have you focused on instead that has been generative and meaningful to you? (i.e. connecting with friends and family, introspection?)
Naming your top 3-5 core values and what you've discovered about each of them will help you stay focused on your values as distractions return.
For instance, one of my top values is freedom. I knew this before the pandemic, but what I discovered is that freedom is an inner game. I can be on lockdown and find immense spiritual freedom in my practices and being with myself. There's an unconditional nature to my freedom that opened up during these last few months.
Aligning with our values isn't easy, but it’s essential to living our best lives.
4. What is your vision for yourself and the world after the pandemic ends?
One of my favorite ways to approach visioning is to imagine myself standing in the future in a specific moment in time (say one year from now – June 2021) and then to describe in vivid detail with a sense of wonder and gratitude what I'm sensing and noticing around me, how I'm feeling and being internally, and what I'm doing.
While you might normally start with your personal vision, I suggest beginning what your ideal world would look like. Not the world we lived in before, but a world that's kinder, more sustainable, and better for humanity and the planet – or whatever you imagine it to be. Tap into your visionary gifts and dream big!
Then, return to your own personal vision and a vision for your family and community. You may find that your personal vision is influenced positively by a collective context that's more supportive and aligned with your core values.
(See how these questions build on each other?)
5. What do you still want to accomplish before shelter-in-place ends?
We don't know how long this forced isolation will last. It may be a matter of weeks or of months. Traffic is already returning in the Bay Area, the speed of life will pick back up, and social engagements will vie for our attention. We'll relish the opportunity to connect in person, go to events, and travel.
Recognizing that we're in a precious moment of opportunity that won't last forever, what do you want to accomplish now that likely won't seem like a priority later?
If you're not sure what these projects are, work backwards from your vision and they will become clear.
Tackling these introspective and foundational projects will set you up for personal and professional success as we get back into full swing.
How to Make the Most of These Questions:
I suggest taking roughly 10-20 minutes per question and journaling about them. You can do this in a single marathon sitting, but it's probably better to explore one a day for the next 5 days, and let the question percolate all day.
As you journal, let yourself free associate and write down whatever comes to mind, without letting your inner critic get in the way.
I trust you'll make some precious discoveries if you commit to this process.
Let's Discuss What You Discovered!
I'd be thrilled to hear what you discover as you go through these questions, so I'm going to open up my calendar during the Summer of 2020 to have 30-minute "virtual teas" with anyone who would like to share and discuss.
Contact me here to set up a virtual tea
Please don't hesitate to take me up on this opportunity if you'd value my listening, reflections, and appreciation of what you're discovering. I'm open to offering feedback as much as you'd like.
In service,
Peter Rubin